Sunday, February 6, 2011

Someone left the light on

in the attic of my soul
and I went up to turn it off,
but I stayed there for a while
dusting off old photographs
old memories that made me smile
and now just make me sad.
Someone left the light on
in the attic of my soul
I went in to switch it off
but I was caught
staring at my reflection
in an old and broken mirror
feeling that the past
and the future were both nearer
than now.
And I put a record on the turntable
I danced the night away
with memories and friends I had forgotten
in the attic, with the light on, all night.
Someone left the light on
in the attic of my soul
and I fell in love with the things I knew as a child
perhaps love is something we have
when we're young
and we lose it, growing up
then spend our whole lives searching
because we want love back.
Someone left the light on
and I thought I ought to switch it off
but then, I realized
that light is something I need
because after years in the dark
it's the light that sets you free.

A letter to my mother

I watch you sometimes, when you don't know that I'm there
And secretly, I feel honoured when people point out how much alike we are.
I'm sorry that I can't be more like you
and I'm sorry that I can't be someone for you to approve of.

Somedays I feel as though all the best parts of me, I inherited from you
but that I somehow never inherited all the best things about you.
It's killing me
to watch as I break your heart.

You didn't deserve me, you know
I'm not good enough for you.

I'm sorry for all the things I've done
For all the things I've said,
For all the things I'll say and do again.

Know that I love you,
No matter what,
I love you.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Fifteen Down

Every now and again I find myself wishing on falling stars
And I wish that the world would stop for just a moment, to accommodate me
Fifteen years down and the one great realization I’ve achieved is that time waits for no man.
The world marches on like a marching band in which half the musicians are playing notes not found on the sheet music
More sky rises go up in the city
And in the country more cows are pumped full of chemicals
And we all march on towards a future that smells like gasoline and possesses all the colour of a concrete block
Slow and silent we march towards the grave,
Our shadows trail behind us like homeless puppies
We strive to build monuments for ourselves
We amass small fortunes
Hoping that someone will take note, and pat us on the head
Or maybe even shake our hand.
Life is now a means to an end instead of an end in itself
And we live in fast pursuit of some higher knowledge
A few choice words that we can rattle off at dinner parties to define us as a person
An advertisement of self, a life philosophy.
Maybe one day we'll look back and finally appreciate that all our triumphs were not so large and our adversities not so incredible as we once believed
That our philosophies were not so profound as we once thought.
Every now and again I find myself wishing on falling stars
And I wish that the world would slow down for just a moment, to accommodate me.
Over the years I’ve come to appreciate one thing about life- the inevitability of it.
Whether you want it or not,
Whether you care or not,
Whether you involve yourself or not,
Life goes on.