The neighbor's girl.

Every day she walks to school. She crosses a bridge to get over the pond by her house. Half way across she stops, and drops a stick into the water. Then she turns around and looks over the other side of the bridge, waiting to see her stick floating away.
Sometimes I wonder what she is doing. Sometimes I tell myself I should go outside to ask her. But most days I stay in my room, gazing out my window and feeling sorry for her.
She looks tired. I can't imagine she gets much sleep. Her parents are up late into the night, yelling at one another. You could hear them from miles away. The neighbors talk about her, they say that someone should take her away from her parents and put her into a loving home. But no one has.
I've never seen her smile or heard her laugh. She doesn't play with other children and she has never had a birthday party. None of the things that so often grace a child's life are present in hers. I wonder how she does it. How she gets up in the morning, day after day, knowing that she'll be facing the same things she went through the day before. The same things she has gone through for as long as she can remember.
It must be hard.
But I guess that's how life is.

Honestly.

Please.
Don't do this.
Not now.
Not here.
Not when everything was suddenly going right.
Not ever, really.
Please.
I reach the point where I think I have everything covered.
And then it hits me.
Like a tidal wave.
Pulling me under until I can't breathe.
And suddenly, the world which seemed perfect is nothing but frightening.
The walls close in and I'm no longer sure of anything.
Not of myself.
Or of my friends.
I'm scared.
And alone.
I'm trapped in my own hands.
And it's all.
My.
Fault.

To the people I will never see again

I wish I could tell all of you that I'm sorry we will never pass on the street
that I'm sorry to know that I'll never hear the sound of your voice
that I'm sorry to realize that I will never get a chance to say this in person.
but I can't.
because I'd be lying
and lying is a sin.
I wish I could thank all of you for being there for me
but the reality is that many of you weren't.
I wish I could tell you all that I love you
but love is a two way street
and I seem to have been the only one driving on it.
I wish I could say I'll miss you
especially to the people I actually will miss
but I can't
because you're all gone anyways and I'm never going to see you again.
I can't even say goodbye
because none of you,
even the ones who I thought cared about me
stuck around long enough to hear me say it.
bummer, eh?

If your silence says less than your words, speak. If your words say more than your silence, keep your mouth shut.

words are confusing
one moment they love you, the next they hate you
sometimes you're not sure which
but one thing is always guaranteed, the moment you think you know what you're saying; words screw everything up
everything
words are like double-edged knives
they hurt everyone involved
the people speaking them, the people hearing them, the people who hear them even though they never wanted to in the first place
words can say everything
words can say nothing
words can make you
words can break you
words
words
words
words
words
but regardless of how they make you feel, you still need them
words are essential to everything human
really
the rule of thumb when dealing with words?
If your silence says less than your words, speak. If your words say more than your silence, keep your mouth shut.