It doesn't feel like Christmas

It just doesn't feel like Christmas.
No it doesn't.
Not at all.
It just doesn't feel like Christmas.
There are presents under the tree,
but the tree is fake.
It can't be Christmas yet, yet it's just three days away.
It just doesn't feel like Christmas.
No it doesn't.
Not at all.
It just doesn't feel like Christmas.
Where's the magic in the air?
The carolers?
Does any one even care?
That it doesn't feel like Christmas.
It just doesn't.
Not at all.
It just doesn't feel like Christmas.
There's no snow, no love, no feel good feelings.
It doesn't feel like Christmas anymore
Can you get too old for Christmas?
I don't know.

So what

So your bigger than other girls- so what?
Not as smart as other people- so what?
You dance funny?  I don't care.
You can never do anything good with your hair.
So what?
So what?
Who cares?
Your lonely days run into lonely nights.
You can't sleep if someone turns out the lights.
You're afraid to try for fear that you'll fail
All that's holding you back is you.
So you're ugly- so what?
So you're weird- so what?
You're not perfect
Your smile's crooked
Your feet are big
You're clumsy-
So what?
This is what's holding you back, why?
You're funny, you're friendly, you've got a cute smile
and sure you're not perfect but nobody is
If you don't learn to laugh and to roll with the punches
you'll live your life in a hole in the ground
So you're imperfect- so what?
So are we all.

Potter

clay
hands
sliding
shifting
two
not one
together
not alone
two minds
together
and
against-
fighting
to mold
each other
to their
respective
wills
each
making
the other
stronger
something
better
more
beautiful
than
before
potter
clay
two minds
together
and against
against
each other
but never
alone

Love poetry

I don't want to write you another love poem
The world is already full of the silly things
written by imagined lovers
pining for what can never be theirs
I don't feel the need to add to their number

I don't want to write you another love poem
I'm worried you'll take it the wrong way
I don't want you to leave me
but I don't want to die all by myself
Maybe I should just tell you how I feel

I don't want to write you another love poem
But I think I'll have to anyways.

If I should ever build a boat

I will name it after you.
It will be as perfect as you are
With tall masts and beautiful, unruffled sails
my boat will be reliable,
sailing strong and steady across stormy seas
it won't sit too low in the water
it won't sit too high either
it won't have a motor
but it will have shorelights
and every time I turn them on,
you'll know what I'm thinking about.
If I should ever build a boat
I will paint it gold and blue
blue for the way I'll feel when I leave it
and gold for the way I'll feel while I sail:
the same way I feel when I see you
the boat won't be perfect
but no one ever is,
it'll be close though, I hope.
If I should ever build a boat
I'll sail it home to you.

Like a chill after warmth

the smile leaves my face
lingering just slightly
as the bus pulls away from the stop.

I have as many faces as there are minutes in the day
Serious when scared
Somber when serious
Laughing while I sob on the inside

Smiling instead of running away screaming.

It's silly isn't it?  Being so fake.
But I can't help myself.
If I acted like me all the time
I'd be just like that guy in my History class
(his name is Steven)
And he's the biggest outsider you'll ever meet

I could be like him
I could act like myself
And maybe they'd love me for me
But instead I'll fake being one of the mob
I'll laugh when I should and tell jokes about "your mom"
I'll belong on the surface, I suppose
But in my mind I'm as foreign as Steven

Because honestly-- 
I'm not a person, I'm a mask

I'm like a coin

Happy on one side
Sad on the other
constantly flipping
always just one
never both
each fighting
the other to be
the one on top.
never winning
for very long
but lingering
if they can.
my emotions
play with me
bat me back
bat me forth
just like a
ping-pong ball
caught in this
eternal game.
Happy now
Sad tomorrow
living not in
equilibrium
but in a state
of constant
rearrangement
of my heart
rearrangement
of my mind
and of myself.
every fiber of
my being will
love life so much
one day and
hate it the next,
hate life so much
I'm willing to
throw it away
like a coin
on the sidewalk
vacillating between
happy and sad
bitter and sweet
rejoicing one day
and cursing the next.
two sides, one coin
that's me.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

How long must I live my life like a pez dispenser?
Pouring out from inside me
All that defines me
Into the hands of those that despise me
Watching my enemies eat my entrails
Leaving me a raw, empty shell
a relic of a fast-fading fad, forgotten in a land-fill
with a stamp on my forehead proclaiming to the world what I am
MADE IN CHINA no. 30478295
I am nothing,
wasted plastic, bereft of all that made me worthwhile
I am nothing
You are nothing
We are all nothing.
We are like drops of rain falling from blue sky
onto the heads of people walking by
gone just as soon as we've arrived
with our hellos so close to our goodbyes
that they might as well have exchanged places.
We are nothing.
And we leave nothing behind,
just people, staring up into the clear and cloudless blue
asking themselves:
Now what, was the point of that?