Saturday, February 27, 2010

People

are like presents on Christmas day. Some of them are beautiful: all sparkly and shiny with bows on top. Sometimes when you find out more about them, they're every bit as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside. But other times these presents can be the most disappointing, pretty wrapping doesn't necessitate a worthwhile present.
Some of the presents have boring wrapping in dull or faded colors. Yet often you find that the wrapping conceals one of the most amazing presents you could dream of receiving.
Some people like to collect others like bright, shiny packages that they will never unwrap. But what's the point of an unopened present? I like to unwrap the people around me; to remove the useless poise and outer calm. Because presents aren't about the wrapping, the giver or even the gifted; presents are about the gift itself. And what good is a gift that you don't appreciate for what it really is?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

One day

One day, we're all going to die
but, if we're lucky enough, that day will be preceded by many happier days.
One day, we're all going to fail.
In fact, we'll fail many more times than just one; many have already failed.
One day, I'm going to build myself a boat and sail off into the horizon.
Not quite so inevitable as the previous, but equally possible even so.
One day, I'll discover the ultimate hypothetical.
No one I know understands why I wish to find it, but I shall find it none the less.
One day, I'll fly a plane into the sunset.
I may never return, I may never want to.
One day, I'll find a way to show the whole world what I can do.
And I won't care or worry that anyone might laugh at me.
One day, you're going to fall in love with me.
I'll be waiting impatiently for that day to come.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Questioning reality, not caring about the answers.

Why do so many people wish that they could fly?
Why can't people fly? (Aside from the obvious)
Why does it seem that as Science explains more of the world to us, the world becomes less interesting?
Why can't we just be blissfully ignorant?
Why do we keep looking for life on other planets, when we can't seem to take care of life on ours?
What is it that makes people do things that hurt themselves?
What is it that makes people do things that hurt others?
What is so bad about wanting to create a utopia?
Why do we fear those who are different?
Why do we hurt the people we fear?
Why do we learn things that will never be useful?
If you forget about something that was important to you only, is it still important?

I hab a code

I hab a code
I need a break
my node is dipping
I feel kite fate

but here I am
I'm still at school
want to go hobe
codes are nob cool

Photogaphy sucks
It sucks alot
I hab a code
Fun, it's nop

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The authentic post has been put on hold

so that I can say something that is momentarily important. About that. Isn't everything only momentarily important? Something can't be important forever. Things don't last that long. And when something is gone and whoever or whatever it was that found it important is gone, doesn't that mean that is isn't important anymore?
What is importance anyway?
And is the meaning of importance important?
Should it be?
...okay now, back on topic, I have to say that which is momentarily important.
I love skiing. I really really do. (This in particular is only momentarily important. Furthermore, it shall be momentarily important for a very short moment only.)
Skiing is amazing. The weather doesn't matter. The visibility could be awful, the snow could be icy and mixed with dirt, and it could be fifty below and I would still love skiing. It's that amazing. That's all.

And another thing which is momentarily important.
I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. In life, I mean. I don't know where I'm going or what I'll do for a living.
This bothers me.
At the moment I think I might become an artist. Specifically a potter. Clay is every bit as amazing as skiing. But I fear I would get bored with lack of mental stimulation.
Back to the drawing bored, I guess.

So that's the end of my mentioning things which are momentarily important.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

I was reading through my blog the other day

I realized that all but one of my posts in the new year have been about love and emotions. They haven't really been a very good representation of me, in fact, they make me sound pretty emotional. Which I'm not. So I figure that somehow I shall have to publish something that sounds a little more authentic. A post that will show off my artistic flair and rather caustic sense of humor.
Maybe something that demonstrates that I'm not just another depressed, irrational/ clueless, lonely single girl looking for love. Instead I'm a somewhat disillusioned, intellectual, single girl who wishes that every guy on the planet would get a clue. But still.
I don't know what to say. I still sound like I have some bizarre emotional complex.
Anyways, I'll have to come up with something other than love to post about soon. Maybe I'll just whip out a post with a bunch of random poetic phrases and statements in various different fonts and text sizes. Hmmm. We'll see.
TTFN ^w^

Added on February 15th =>
I think I might also start posting some random questions. Maybe once a month. I'll limit myself to fifteen questions per post, and either I will answer them in the following posts or if someone else has an interesting answer they can comment.
I also feel the insane need to discuss philosophy and theology. There should be some random posts about each from time to time. Yeah, that's pretty much it; as usually happens with one of my brainstorming posts, I have no clue how I should end this. I guess I'll just cut the live feed.
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Thursday, February 11, 2010

What I've been looking for

What I've been looking for
is a place to call my home,
a place to kick my feet up,
a place where I can unpack my bags, my tacky nick-knacks collected from years of travel spilling out from between leather and metal clasps.

What I've been looking for
is a person to call my friend,
a person who understands me,
a person who knows who I am and what I've been through, who doesn't care if some days I look like a drunk cooter brown.

What I've been looking for
is a something that's interesting,
a something to make my life worth living,
a something that I can wake up to every morning without being bored; a puzzle, a key to a door I've never seen, a something.

What I've been looking for
is a little touch of stardust,
a little tint to make me smile,
a little hint to let me know that the clouds won't always sit over my head; a touch of something magic that'll bring me what I need.

What I've been looking for
is the answer to my questions,
the things that I've been missing,
the things I want to know. I've been looking for a long time and I'll search for years to come, because what I want isn't out there, but that's all right with me.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

As Time Went By

maybe one day i'll understand why you had to leave
why we couldn't stay the way we were forever
why life couldn't be a simple as it ought to be

technically, you're not the one who left
i was, i am. but it wasn't me who drifted,
becoming more and more distant as time wore on
maybe one day i'll understand why i can't hold it all together
why suddenly, i feel so lonely and incapable
why i can't be as strong inside as i am on the exterior

technically, i shouldn't be lonely
i have good friends everywhere i go
but none of them are the same, none of them are you
maybe one day i'll understand why you changed
why you couldn't be the same anymore
why you had to walk a path so different from mine

technically, we were on different paths the whole time
i was looking for respect and you were looking for love
but we both wanted similar things: adventure, intellect
maybe one day i'll understand why i didn't see then what i can see now
why i missed you so completely, seeing only what i wanted to see
why i couldn't value you for what you really were

technically, there was and is nothing wrong with you
i was always the one with the problem, the one who made the mistake
nothing was your fault, you were always just you, no one else, unlike me
maybe, maybe it's my fault that you left.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

A Morning on the Moon

walking on the moon one day, I saw you standing alone. your hands were shoved into your pockets and your feathery hair fell to your shoulders; I had never seen anything so beautiful. you looked up at me and I glanced away. with two long strides you reached my side, your invisible fingers brushed my cheek. I saw a tear slide down your face, and I nearly said something but then you were gone. when I got home that morning, I found a flower on my table.
two days earlier, you returned. I was the only person who didn't welcome you. you probably thought that I was being rude, but I simply didn't know what to say. I spoke to every butterfly that passed on my way home, but they all just flew away, whispering to one another. when I reached home, I found a flower on my bed.
I woke up the next night and I knew I had to get out of there. I ran until I could fly and I flew as far as the sun, I left a piece of my heart there, wishing on a shooting star that no one would ever find it. I held the world up in the palm of my hand and I searched for a single person who didn't have anyone to love, but none seemed to share my fate. no one was alone, except for me. even in my loneliness I was alone.
sitting on my roof that night, my mind left me to drink from the milky way. when it returned, it found you sitting beside me on the rooftop, holding my blue hands in your invisible grip.
you traced something onto my back and asked me if I knew what it was. when I told you I did not, you laughed and leaped up off my roof, walking away into the night. I watched you leave, and my heart cried out- don't leave me. but you never heard.
the next day you returned, holding in your hand something that glowed as bright as the sun, that shone with a light like the rings of saturn. it was the piece of my heart that I had left for dead, a part of me that I had only recently forgotten.
and you took my heart and stitched it back together, then taking my hand you led me to the land at the end of the rainbow. and though we never found a pot of gold, nor any leprechauns, I was never disappointed because I found something better. I found you.