Today I was thinking about praise and the praiseworthy. Or rather, I was failing at trying not to. Sometimes, one wants so much to be something that one is not. I myself am entirely and irremediably nervous. I want people to love me. I want people to think that I am praiseworthy. Yet somehow I can't see myself the way I want to be seen.
Sometimes we cannot believe that we deserve the praise we wish to earn, and yet we cannot quite believe that we do not deserve it. It's pretty crazy how I find myself chasing my own tail, wanting to be praiseworthy, yet not believing that I am at the same time.
But I guess life is like that. We are not afraid of our own inadequacy, instead we are afraid of our own beauty, of our talents. In the end, aren't we all sure of our own praiseworthiness? Are we only denying that we do not believe ourselves to be praiseworthy in the first place? What is modesty anyways?
Perhaps we'll never know.
But I guess life is like that. We are not afraid of our own inadequacy, instead we are afraid of our own beauty, of our talents. In the end, aren't we all sure of our own praiseworthiness? Are we only denying that we do not believe ourselves to be praiseworthy in the first place? What is modesty anyways?
Perhaps we'll never know.
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