Sometimes I feel like a horrible person

I said this to a friend yesterday and she asked if I was going to go
"all emo-existentialist" on her
not at all. not at all.
but you'd feel like a horrible person too,
wouldn't you,
if you were going to break some poor boy's heart
like a fancy china bowl,
smashing it
and dashing all his dreams.
you'd feel horrible too
if you were wearing my shoes
knowing you were going to hurt someone
wanting not to,
but understanding the inevitability of the situation
you'd feel horrible
if you were me
knowing that he really like liked you
when you only kind of like liked him
and knowing that when he worked up the courage to ask you out
it would be in vain (you'd reject him, of course)
because as much as you kind of like liked him
and as much as you'd been leading him around
like a dog on a very short leash,
a donkey with a carrot
leading him on, because you couldn't can't help it
you don't like like him nearly as much as you wish you could.
You'd feel like a horrible person,
if you were me.
but you're not
so be glad of it
be glad that you're free
of this ridiculous burden I've placed upon myself.