Growing up

I woke up to gray sky and rain falling on my window pane
rolled out of bed and pulled on my runners
and I ran

I sailed the world in the rubber lifeboat with the number ninety-nine on the side
traveling farther from home with each wave
and I went

I remember being six years old and thinking that if only I could fly
then nothing could touch me
nothing could hurt me if I could fly
If I could run just a little bit faster
than everyone else in the world
nothing could ever make me cry again

I opened the door upon the rainiest day the westcoast has ever seen
walked all the way to school in the cold
and I sighed

I flew as high as my small wings would take me, up into the sky
waltzed with the birds and looked down
and I dived

I remember being six years old and thinking that if I closed my eyes
the whole world closed theirs too
nothing could hurt me if I didn't see it.
If I could just pretend a little bit longer
than everyone else in the world
nothing could ever hurt me again.

I stared out the classroom window and out past the rain and I saw you
wished for the day to be over, to walk by your side
I was in awe

I held your hand and I walked into the sunset, not realizing not seeing
Until I opened my eyes, acknowleged the truth
and I saw

I remember being six years old and thinking that forever had meaning
and that a promise was always true
nothing could break the bond of a pinky swear.
If I could just make you love me more
than everyone else in the world
you would never hurt me again.

But today I realize that leaving doesn't meaning running away
and that wings melt and fast running feet will only leave you far behind
I see that sighing doesn't always mean the worst is over
And that closing your eyes only protects you from yourself
Little did I realize that our forever promises were fragile
that they meant the world to me and nothing to you
And I can walk away with my held high
Or I can stay and be pushed down to the level at which you can handle me
But if I close my eyes, and pretend that you don't hurt me
I'm not helping myself, and I'm certainly not helping you